Related story: Follow-up murky with homeless teenagers profiled in Tulsa World

For a few hours one day last winter, 17-year-old Magenia Parish seriously thought about kidnapping her months-old daughter and living on the run. But she backed off.

Motherhood with baby Lizzy was not as rosy as she envisioned, but she was trying to make good on her promises with the Oklahoma Department of Human Services. DHS had made separate placements for the two because of neglect concerns.

“She helped me grow up a little bit more than I already was,” Parish said. “It was very, very stressful and gets harder when DHS is involved. I always felt when they visited me they would dangle something in front of me I really wanted only to take it away.”

Parish was profiled by the Tulsa World in June last year about her life as a homeless teen. Between 1,200 to 1,500 youth are homeless in Tulsa, living on the streets, in shelters or couch-hopping among friends and family.

Parish says she has been running away since age 13, dealing with diagnosed mental health disorders and trying to kick her substance abuse addictions. She describes her upbringing as chaotic and says it includes molestation and rape. No one has been arrested or charged.

When last interviewed, Parish was pregnant and living in cheap motels and wooded areas with a 30-year-old boyfriend, who also acted as a guard when she occasionally worked as a prostitute to get money for food and shelter.

Last week, Parish contacted the Tulsa World wanting to talk about her progress and challenges. She is less than two months from turning 18.

“My birthday means freedom to me,” she said.

Giving up her daughter

After having a healthy baby daughter Oct. 8, she quickly lost custody when DHS stepped in with allegations of neglect.

Parish said she did not test positive for drugs and had broken up with the boyfriend, who is also the father of the girl. She was living in an apartment with a friend.

She was placed in the Youth Services of Tulsa shelter, and the baby was in a foster home. The family court hearings pored over her statements in the newspaper, which Parish stands by as truth.

“I walked in and said, ‘Yes, I did those things, but that is not me now,’ ” she said. “My attorney asked for a second chance, because I am a young mom, and the judge gave it to me with a treatment plan.

“I wasn’t as strong as I am now. I was weak at that time. There was so much I had to do in such little time, and I was always scared of losing my daughter. I just didn’t have the mentality to do it.”

By the end of January, she was struggling with the treatment plan and decided to give up parental rights. The baby’s father, who had a court-appointed guardian, also relinquished rights, Parish said.

“I want her to know her momma does love her, and I think of her every day,” she said. “I want her to have a happy life. If it’s not with me, then I can live with that. I want my daughter to have a happier and healthier life than me. I can admit that may not happen with me.”

Parish likes to show photos of her daughter — at 1 week old and 7 months old — carried in a phone given to her by a “street brother.” The pink-clad baby shows off smiles and big, brown eyes.

The final court date was all about business, with the judge making sure she understood what she was doing and signing forms to allow for adoption.

“I stayed strong in court, but after I walked out, I lost it,” she said. “That day, I just wanted to be around friends and bawled and cried all day. Three days later, I ran from the shelter.”

That started a string of erratic and explosive behavior with many episodes of running away.

‘I just blew up on everyone’

Parrish was first located at the Day Center for the Homeless, where police were called to escort her to the DHS Laura Dester Shelter.

“I just blew up on everyone,” she said. “I just went off. I told them not to bother with paperwork because I’m going to be gone as soon as I can.”

Parish was returned to Youth Services but ran away. An attempt to place her at a short-term, voluntarily behavioral health program for youth failed when she refused to participate. She also raged at more attempts for placements at the DHS and Youth Services shelters and crisis clinics. It led to a stay at Hillcrest’s Child and Adolescent Behavioral Center at the OSU Medical Center campus.

There she reunited with her father, who lives in Tulsa. The two had been estranged after she ran away from his home in her early teens. She and her mother, who lives in Missouri, are not on speaking terms.

“I told them at the hospital all I wanted was to see my dad,” Parish said. “Every time my dad promised to come see me, he would, and that surprised me. He wants to see me on my 18th birthday and celebrate. He wants me in his life. He wants to see me do good and be successful. I honestly didn’t think my father or my mother cared.”

It was during a visit with her dad at the hospital when she took her final flight. After meeting with him, she went out the hospital door and didn’t return for three months.

“They said I was going to be in there a month,” she said. “I was not going to be in that place where they treated me like s--- for a month.”

Parish made her way to Dallas by hitchhiking and begging for money to take a Greyhound bus. When she got to Texas, she hung out at the bus station not knowing where to go.

“A guy randomly picked me up and told me he could put me in a place and stay as long as I wanted to,” she said. “I got in a relationship with him. When I told him I wanted to come back to Tulsa and get my life together, he said no.”

Parish said he threatened her if she left. She would not elaborate.

“He wanted me to stay and bear his kids and be a housewife,” she said. “But I want to have a life and not be some guy’s toy anymore.”

Parish said she persuaded him to let her go by saying she would come back after turning 18. She has been in Tulsa now for about two weeks.

A new start

Her first stop was to check in with DHS because she is still in its legal custody and didn’t want another police escort. A new worker has been assigned and placed her in a Tulsa transitional living foster home with two couples. It’s an eclectic home of artsy adults, who have given her more freedom than in other placements.

The rules are: no violence, no drug use and friends must first have an official introduction before being invited to the home.

“I follow all those,” she said. “When I got back, I said I wasn’t going to a shelter, and my worker said she had a good place for me. DHS finally realized I have the independence and the survival skills it takes to live on my own.”

Parish is starting drug counseling and is making the round of doctor appointments to get her mental health medications and birth control. She has filled out at least five applications for work in restaurants and plans to start GED classes at a nonprofit once she gets a 31-day bus pass.

She is not dating anyone but plans to move in with a friend, Kyle Wozniak, as soon as possible. She said he once helped get her away from a violent man, and they have remained friends.

Right now, most of her time is spent at the Youth Services drop-in center or walking or riding a bus to drop off applications and forms.

“My worker said if I worked hard, she’ll work even harder to get things done for me,” Parish said. “DHS has been in and out of my life for a long time, and I only like one other worker — the one who told my mom to let me live with my dad.”

Last year, Parish said life on the streets meant not planning beyond a day. Now, she plans for the week.

“I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m not running from my issues anymore,” she said. “I don’t use my body anymore for survival.”