'He told me he was in control of my life': Domestic violence survivor recounts story as advocates announced $8 million infusion

Her safeties, advocates for domestic violence survivors, knew this to be code that she was in trouble and needed help.

"He told me he was in control of my life," Henin said. "He said I had ruined his life when I filed a protective order and there was nothing a piece of paper could do that would save me."

She divorced her husband, now ex-husband, in 2016, and about a year later sought a protective order against him. Henin said the divorce was not amicable and that he became a stalker.

In April 2017, he allegedly bypassed her home security and waited for her to return home from work, according to court documents and Henin. She was electrically stunned and then restrained with duct tape and zip ties.

"He loaded his gun in front of me," Henin said. "He took a hunting knife and cut my blouse off."

He allegedly forced her into his truck and kept her in a horse trailer for several hours before absconding with her to a hotel in Siloam Springs, Arkansas, Henin said.

She prayed that angelic warriors would come to save her. She prayed that he would believe anything she said.

And he did. She told him she would re-marry him. That is when she texted her "safeties," Henin said.

Henin shared her story Wednesday with media, prosecutors, investigators and advocates for survivors. And, while sharing her story, she was flanked on either side by, as she describes them, "warriors" against domestic violence.

"To women in my position or men, know that there is hope and when you sign that piece of paper, you have the backing of all these people behind me," Henin said.

Oklahoma's three federal prosecutors came together Wednesday to announce an $8 million in grant funding for efforts around the state to combat domestic violence. Officials with the U.S. Justice Department's Office of Violence Against Women granted the funding.

"I believe that would have been my very last ride had it not been for the people here today and their funding," Henin said.

In Tulsa County, about $1.2 million was appropriated to the city and the Tulsa County District Court. The court will establish a monitoring docket to ensure domestic violence offenders remain compliant with their sentences. It will also develop policies and training for court personnel and community partners for surrendering of firearms following a conviction or a final protective order.

City officials said the grant funding is critical for addressing high-risk domestic violence cases in Tulsa and fostering collaboration among advocates, law enforcers and prosecutors, according to a news release.

More than $3 million has been appropriated to tribes, about $842,000 to various non-governmental organizations and about $2 million will go to supporting law enforcers, advocates and prosecutors around the state.

U.S. Attorney Trent Shores, who serves the Northern District of Oklahoma in Tulsa, said more domestic violence cases have come to his office following the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in the McGirt case.

Domestic violence cases also come through federal courts when firearms are involved.

"We're thankful for the resiliency of people like Alisa, who I think can help to encourage others who may be living in fear to come forward," Shores said.

Shores said victimization among tribal communities is "staggeringly high." According to the Native Alliance Against Violence, four out of five American Indian and Alaska Native adults have experienced some form of violence during their life. Most of the federally-recognized tribes in Oklahoma have programs to address domestic violence and sexual assault.

According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 32% of women and 28% of men will be victims of physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their life.

"We know that during this public health pandemic, more and more of us have been staying home," Shores said. "Think about that from the position of a domestic violence survivor: day-in and day-out, that victim is captive within the walls of that home with her abuser."

Brian Kuester, U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Oklahoma in Muskogee, stressed the importance of collaboration among law enforcers, governments, prosecutors and non-governmental agencies. He said there is "no greater common purpose" than serving victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

"Oftentimes the last hurdle to clear as we work to accomplishing or working toward a worthwhile purpose is the funding," Kuester said. "Collaboration with other agencies involves people and time, both of which require funding."

It was that collaboration that saved Henin's life. The protective order she had was filed in Oklahoma, and that order gave law enforcers the authority to track her cellphone. With that information, Siloam Springs, Arkansas, officers were able to rescue her, and then Broken Arrow police detectives were able to take her statement. And then federal agents brought the case to federal court.

Her ex-husband was convicted on charges of kidnapping and possessing a firearm while subject to a protective order, according to court records. He was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

However, his conviction was overturned in June by a higher court on appeal. He is set to be retried in the fall. Henin said the appeal succeeded due to a "procedural technicality."

Her domestic violence advocates, she said, walked her through the court process. She said they were compassionate, professional and realistic; they prepared Henin for "what could happen" in court, she said.

"In case you lost count, there were 28 domestic violence warriors who went to battle for me," she said. "It takes more than two. It took 28, and there's more."

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